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RSS membership
In year 1978, I took membership of Rashtriya Swyamsewak Sangh (RSS).
I would go to Shakha that was lead by Guruji Lakshmi Ji in the
park (usually called as Tanki wala park) in Dakshinpuri. I
usually would go in SEVA BHARTI. In this way I grew up in RSS
environment, where we were taught the art of self-defence and
different sort of fighting tricks / techniques. Here I learnt
many exciting games and weapons like Lathi, Talwar, Ballabhbhh
etc. Simultaneously I was learning Judo-Karate and exercises to
build the body. As I learnt all these things, I was no more
afraid of anybody, and this was the reason I went on being ill
mannered and mischievous day by day. I was proud of my physical
strength and fighting tactics. I was proud and would cherish the
fact that I could beat 4-5 guys at a time like a filmy hero. I
knocked down many big badmaash and gain a big fame of being a
bigger badmaash. I started enjoying the company of
wicked/anti-social guys and became quite popular. I had a very
loose temper and would be angry in no time for any cause.
First milestone
This while, my elder brother who was working in Indian Army
heard gospel of Jesus Christ in a open-meeting of India Every
Home Crusade. The gospel took a place in his heart and he
enquired more about it. After some time he accepted Jesus as his
personal saviour and God. He started sharing the gospel with
many. He shared the gospel in our village and even in our home.
In fact, he only took the initiative to take us out of the
township and admit us in better school so that we could get
educated. He had to face many challenges from the family itself,
but at last, he won all the debates and discussions. He
persuaded many villagers too to put their children in the
mission school 'Ingraham' in Aligarh. He agreed to pay all our
fees and thus admitted us to the mission school, which was 60
kms from our home. My sister and me were admitted to the school,
and I learnt Christian way of living. I learnt lot of things of
Bible as all the teachings/preaching and prayers were from the
Bible. I was considered to be the most ill-behaved boy of the
hostel. I would jump out of the boundary wall of the hostel and
would steal fruits and veggies from outside. Well, after
completing 8th standard, I came to Delhi to my Didi and Bahnoi.
I was granted admission in 9th standard in Delhi. I joined RSS
again and Ramesh ji led this shakha in Block-2, Dakshinpuri. I
fall in the company of some bad boys. My brother, though being
miles away, was worried about me and would write letters
frequently to guide me through spiritual bearing.
Met with a pastor
He came to Delhi once and introduced me to Pastor R.K. Mala. He
had to leave early because his job would not allow him stay any
longer. He did one thing very fervently that he would write
spiritual letters frequently to me. He used to continuously
remind the pastor to keep my track. Pastor would come to our
home every once in a while. He always used to invite me to
church, but I used to just agree to please him. I would go to
church halfhearted whenever I used to get the letter from my
elder brother. I did so because neither I wanted to tell a lie
nor I wanted to disrespect him. I loved my brother and had a
great respect for him. I would just go to church, touch it’s
building and come back so that I may not have to tell a lie.
Despite of all efforts put in by my brother and Pastor Mala, I
steadily went on defiling myself. I was in quest for romance too
as I was growing.
Going back
I became disciple of one Tantrik Baba in Vasant Vihar for quite
some time. I did all the service to him along with one of my old
pals Rajja who still is a magic-vendor. We would offer in food,
sacrifices to the idols and burn incense. I would not miss going
Peer Baba ki Dargah every thursday. I offered many prayers and
sought many blessings, but all were in vain.
I went to Banaras to tie some sticks in the
Ganges as was the tradition but got no peace. In fact, I was
loosing my peace but gaining nothing. One more thing, which
needs attention, is that my mother was very religious. Many
spirits would come upon her and drive her crazy. Especially she
prayed Kali Kalkatta wali and this was the goddess which when
came upon her would make her most crazy and horrifying. She used
to offer foods and live sacrifices to please the goddess.
Somehow, if she forgot sometime to offer the sacrifices, she had
to suffer a lot. Many evil spirits would hold her and this would
make her not only ugly but also the most horrible figure I can
remember to the remotest of my imaginations. I used to get so
scared that I would generally hid myself in the quilt. She
usually wore 4-5 pendents (taabeez) on her neck or arms. She
never kept well all this while. She would be sick of something
or other though being ultra religious. In those days, I
remember, my father bought the Dakshinpuri flat. Our complete
family shifted to this flat. My didi got a kid by then and my
father's home being so near, my mother called me back to our
flat. My father was still in service; he and my mother loved me
so much. My brother was always in try to draw our family nearer
to Jesus Christ, but none would listen to him. All were happy
with him but we did not want to leave our habits and religious
practices. I had tried many times to leave all my evil deeds,
but in vain. In fact, I made two attempts to bring my life to an
end, but the medicine I had gulped to commit suicide did not
reach any harm to me.
Transformation
Once in a while, I would go to Delhi Bible Fellowship (DBF)
church, where no one used to notice me and in the crowd of all
known to each other, I used to feel aloof and lonely. Once I
went to a prayer meeting. The passage being discussed was
Revelation 2:17. 'He that hath an ear, let him hear what the
Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I
give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white
stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth
saving he that receiveth it.' All these things settled down in
my mind and I was scared of my eternity. I struggled for many
days with the random thoughts being generated in my mind out of
this intercourse. I was meditating upon the words...He that hath
an ear, let him hear...I will give unto every one of you
according to your works...I was terrified by the thought that I
was doing all what has been forbidden by God. So would I be a
sinner lifelong, would I die as a sinner. I could not understand
the depth of the matter, so I decided to go to the pastor.
Pastor Mala introduced me to the different face of the life. He
from many verses explained that if we confess our sins, he is
faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from
all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9). But if we walk in the light,
as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and
the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. (1
John 1:7). I was struck by the thought that our home was the
stronghold of all the goddess and gods; we still had to suffer
all the problems, sicknesses and poverty; how is it that all our
Gods came to destroy the sinners and to save the righteous but
this God Jesus came not to destroy but to save the sinners by
shedding his own blood. I did a research and found that Jesus
Christ was/is the God, who accepts mankind as his children. He
does not ill-treat his children but loves them unconditionally.
This God loved us so much that he could not resist to come on
this earth in Jesus Christ to save us and model the real child
of God. After being satisfied with the results of my research, I
accepted Jesus as my saviour and God and put forward all my sins
and transgressions before him, because Bible says "For with the
heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth
confession is made unto salvation. " (Romans 10:10) This is how
I accepted Jesus Christ in my life. I started growing in Christ
and his teachings. I would go to church every Sunday for worship
and would consistently read bible. I testified the Lord in my
life through water baptism on 21st April of 1989.
Hardships
I started
following bible as it says. But whenever I used to share the
gospel with the people who knew my life before conversion would
ridicule and comment upon me. Many would say...lli chali haj ko...and others...see, this man has come
from holland or England or US...Even many said...see..he has
forsaken his own father and has accepted others father as his
own... I felt so furious but the love of Christ overruled the
anger and hatred. I was very happy; because I had received 'the
peace ' what I was actually searching for. Walking in his ways,
I got married in a believer family of Meerut. Suddenly something
happened which surfaced the old Raju in me and I committed the
crime for which I had to go to jail.
Home-coming
I was kept in am happy to say that Jesus did not forsake
me even there and brought his word in the jail through Gideons
Ministry. As they distributed Bible in the jail, and then did
complete worship service followed by the preaching, the word of
God touched me once again. I remembered that I decided to leave
the God of Bible and committed sin but he did not left me even
in this condition. He came to me to cheer me up and bless me
with his peace and joy. I then decided once again that come what
may but I would not leave Jesus ever in my life. Then I shared
the gospel with many fellow prisoners but they would not hear me
but would counter-question me instead that why I was in jail if
I knew God. As soon as I got the bail, I went to the person to
whom I had beaten so badly. I went there to ask him to forgive
me and I confessed in front of his family. Then I confessed in
front of my parent church and sought the prayers of the elders.
I myself also prayed that God might keep me in his feet for
life-long. God has cared for me and kept me happy and content;
gradually my mother, brother and sisters also accepted Christ in
their lives. All in my family are blessed in the grace of God.
If you want to come closer to Lord Jesus Christ today, then have
faith that he is calling you with his arms open wide. All may
have to repent because man can do everything till he is alive;
but nothing after his death. Dear brothers and sisters, this is
the time because nobody has seen tomorrow. If you want to
receive eternal life and the life of peace, then you will have
to come to Lord Jesus Christ. WAY OF PEACE / WAY OF SIN. Which
way you want to go ? The decision is yours. I shall always pray
that Lord Jesus may help you in choosing the Way of Peace.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. If you want
to know more about sin or spirit, peace or eternal life, heaven
or hell; kindly contact us:
rajk_kataria@yahoo.com.
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