My name is Aarti Modi (was known as Aarti Sharma before marriage). I was born in a small village in Rajasthan in 1985 in a Brahman family. Our family was devoted to all Hindu gods and goddesses and would religiously do idol worship in the temple. As part of this belief, we would also believe in associated superstitions. I was a very religious girl and would follow the example of my dadiji in performing religious duty. Dadiji used to tell Hindu mythological stories to other ladies in the village, go to temple every day – morning and evening, go for teerthyatra etc. I would follow her example and right from the young age, I started going to temple, teerthyatra etc.
My dadiji did a lot of temple service and yet peace was far from her. This lack of peace would reflect in her day to day life. I would get upset quite often by her behavior. I could not understand why there was no change in her life, what the truth was and who is God. I was too young to understand all such complex things, I guess.
I saw my mother always sad and unhappy, struggling with life. Papa used to stay in Delhi for his profession and yet he would also struggle for some sort of better work. Some of his own close relative(s) ditched him. This family who deceived us would still consider themselves part of Gayatri family and do yagya etc.
Papa did not have good work (sometimes no work); therefore everybody would consider us inferior and would treat us badly. Mummy used to suffer a lot. After finishing household chores, she would come back to room and weep for long times. She would hug me and bhaiya (my elder brother) and cry profusely. She would go for all Hindu saints etc in search of peace and prosperity in our house. Her main objective was to get Papa a stable work, but she would always come back miserable and with failures. She would cry before idols for hours together, longing for everything to just become alright by the grace of the gods she was worshipping. Nothing happened. I would wonder whether someone is really listening. Continue Reading