My name is Rajkumar. I was born in the village Tatarpur of district Aligarh in year1967. I belong to a Hindu family. We are seven brothers and sisters in total. We are three brothers and 4 sisters, and i am sixth child to our parents. My elder brother Raghuwar Dayal was working in AMC Force. I remember, when I was 4 years old, my elder sister (Didi) and her husband (Bahnoi) adopted me.
I came to Delhi with them and lived quite long span of my life with them. They had no child till then and they loved me as if I was their own kid. They fulfilled all my requirements/desires as and when stated. As the days passed by, I grew up to know that at time my father was working in a Shipping Corporation as a guard. He also loved me a lot. In fact, Didi, Bahnoi, elder brother and love of my parents was so much in plenty for me that I would lack nothing. I was very active child. Right from the small age of 7-8, I started earning my pocket-money through some home-trades so I was independent to some extent to take my decisions on my own.
In year 1978, I took membership of Rashtriya Swyamsewak Sangh (RSS). I would go to Shakha that was lead by Guruji Lakshmi Ji in the park (usually called as Tanki wala park) in Dakshinpuri. I usually would go in SEVA BHARTI. In this way I grew up in RSS environment, where we were taught the art of self-defence and different sort of fighting tricks / techniques. Here I learnt many exciting games and weapons like Lathi, Talwar, Ballabhbhh etc. Simultaneously I was learning Judo-Karate and exercises to build the body. As I learnt all these things, I was no more afraid of anybody, and this was the reason I went on being ill mannered and mischievous day by day. I was proud of my physical strength and fighting tactics. I was proud and would cherish the fact that I could beat 4-5 guys at a time like a filmy hero. I knocked down many big badmaash and gain a big fame of being a bigger badmaash. I started enjoying the company of wicked/anti-social guys and became quite popular. I had a very loose temper and would be angry in no time for any cause.
This while, my elder brother who was working in Indian Army heard gospel of Jesus Christ in a open-meeting of India Every Home Crusade. The gospel took a place in his heart and he enquired more about it. After some time he accepted Jesus as his personal saviour and God. He started sharing the gospel with many. He shared the gospel in our village and even in our home. In fact, he only took the initiative to take us out of the township and admit us in better school so that we could get educated. He had to face many challenges from the family itself, but at last, he won all the debates and discussions. He persuaded many villagers too to put their children in the mission school ‘Ingraham’ in Aligarh. He agreed to pay all our fees and thus admitted us to the mission school, which was 60 kms from our home. My sister and me were admitted to the school, and I learnt Christian way of living. I learnt lot of things of Bible as all the teachings/preaching and prayers were from the Bible. I was considered to be the most ill-behaved boy of the hostel. I would jump out of the boundary wall of the hostel and would steal fruits and veggies from outside. Well, after completing 8th standard, I came to Delhi to my Didi and Bahnoi. I was granted admission in 9th standard in Delhi. I joined RSS again and Ramesh ji led this shakha in Block-2, Dakshinpuri. I fall in the company of some bad boys. My brother, though being miles away, was worried about me and would write letters frequently to guide me through spiritual bearing.
Met with a pastor
He came to Delhi once and introduced me to Pastor R.K. Mala. He had to leave early because his job would not allow him stay any longer. He did one thing very fervently that he would write spiritual letters frequently to me. He used to continuously remind the pastor to keep my track. Pastor would come to our home every once in a while. He always used to invite me to church, but I used to just agree to please him. I would go to church halfhearted whenever I used to get the letter from my elder brother. I did so because neither I wanted to tell a lie nor I wanted to disrespect him. I loved my brother and had a great respect for him. I would just go to church, touch it’s building and come back so that I may not have to tell a lie. Despite of all efforts put in by my brother and Pastor Mala, I steadily went on defiling myself. I was in quest for romance too as I was growing.
I became disciple of one Tantrik Baba in Vasant Vihar for quite some time. I did all the service to him along with one of my old pals Rajja who still is a magic-vendor. We would offer in food, sacrifices to the idols and burn incense. I would not miss going Peer Baba ki Dargah every thursday. I offered many prayers and sought many blessings, but all were in vain.
I went to Banaras to tie some sticks in the Ganges as was the tradition but got no peace. In fact, I was loosing my peace but gaining nothing. One more thing, which needs attention, is that my mother was very religious. Many spirits would come upon her and drive her crazy. Especially she prayed Kali Kalkatta wali and this was the goddess which when came upon her would make her most crazy and horrifying. She used to offer foods and live sacrifices to please the goddess. Somehow, if she forgot sometime to offer the sacrifices, she had to suffer a lot. Many evil spirits would hold her and this would make her not only ugly but also the most horrible figure I can remember to the remotest of my imaginations. I used to get so scared that I would generally hid myself in the quilt. She usually wore 4-5 pendents (taabeez) on her neck or arms. She never kept well all this while. She would be sick of something or other though being ultra religious. In those days, I remember, my father bought the Dakshinpuri flat. Our complete family shifted to this flat. My didi got a kid by then and my father’s home being so near, my mother called me back to our flat. My father was still in service; he and my mother loved me so much. My brother was always in try to draw our family nearer to Jesus Christ, but none would listen to him. All were happy with him but we did not want to leave our habits and religious practices. I had tried many times to leave all my evil deeds, but in vain. In fact, I made two attempts to bring my life to an end, but the medicine I had gulped to commit suicide did not reach any harm to me.
Once in a while, I would go to Delhi Bible Fellowship (DBF) church, where no one used to notice me and in the crowd of all known to each other, I used to feel aloof and lonely. Once I went to a prayer meeting. The passage being discussed was Revelation 2:17. ‘He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.’ All these things settled down in my mind and I was scared of my eternity. I struggled for many days with the random thoughts being generated in my mind out of this intercourse. I was meditating upon the words…He that hath an ear, let him hear…I will give unto every one of you according to your works…I was terrified by the thought that I was doing all what has been forbidden by God. So would I be a sinner lifelong, would I die as a sinner. I could not understand the depth of the matter, so I decided to go to the pastor. Pastor Mala introduced me to the different face of the life. He from many verses explained that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9). But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. (1 John 1:7). I was struck by the thought that our home was the stronghold of all the goddess and gods; we still had to suffer all the problems, sicknesses and poverty; how is it that all our Gods came to destroy the sinners and to save the righteous but this God Jesus came not to destroy but to save the sinners by shedding his own blood. I did a research and found that Jesus Christ was/is the God, who accepts mankind as his children. He does not ill-treat his children but loves them unconditionally. This God loved us so much that he could not resist to come on this earth in Jesus Christ to save us and model the real child of God. After being satisfied with the results of my research, I accepted Jesus as my saviour and God and put forward all my sins and transgressions before him, because Bible says “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. ” (Romans 10:10) This is how I accepted Jesus Christ in my life. I started growing in Christ and his teachings. I would go to church every Sunday for worship and would consistently read bible. I testified the Lord in my life through water baptism on 21st April of 1989.
I started following bible as it says. But whenever I used to share the gospel with the people who knew my life before conversion would ridicule and comment upon me. Many would say…lli chali haj ko…and others…see, this man has come from holland or England or US…Even many said…see..he has forsaken his own father and has accepted others father as his own… I felt so furious but the love of Christ overruled the anger and hatred. I was very happy; because I had received ‘the peace ‘ what I was actually searching for. Walking in his ways, I got married in a believer family of Meerut. Suddenly something happened which surfaced the old Raju in me and I committed the crime for which I had to go to jail.
I was kept in am happy to say that Jesus did not forsake me even there and brought his word in the jail through Gideons Ministry. As they distributed Bible in the jail, and then did complete worship service followed by the preaching, the word of God touched me once again. I remembered that I decided to leave the God of Bible and committed sin but he did not left me even in this condition. He came to me to cheer me up and bless me with his peace and joy. I then decided once again that come what may but I would not leave Jesus ever in my life. Then I shared the gospel with many fellow prisoners but they would not hear me but would counter-question me instead that why I was in jail if I knew God. As soon as I got the bail, I went to the person to whom I had beaten so badly. I went there to ask him to forgive me and I confessed in front of his family. Then I confessed in front of my parent church and sought the prayers of the elders. I myself also prayed that God might keep me in his feet for life-long. God has cared for me and kept me happy and content; gradually my mother, brother and sisters also accepted Christ in their lives. All in my family are blessed in the grace of God.
If you want to come closer to Lord Jesus Christ today, then have faith that he is calling you with his arms open wide. All may have to repent because man can do everything till he is alive; but nothing after his death. Dear brothers and sisters, this is the time because nobody has seen tomorrow. If you want to receive eternal life and the life of peace, then you will have to come to Lord Jesus Christ. WAY OF PEACE / WAY OF SIN. Which way you want to go ? The decision is yours. I shall always pray that Lord Jesus may help you in choosing the Way of Peace.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. If you want to know more about sin or spirit, peace or eternal life, heaven or hell; kindly contact us: email@example.com.